Fan 101

Yesterday (OK, two days ago … Hey, I’m in grad school here), Purdue made their annual trek to Assembly Hall and got their butts kicked. I don’t think my expectations are too high about this, considering who the opponent was, but it is always a disappointment when the win isn’t also a shutout. As it happened, the Boilermakers scored 58 points too many but still a good 27 fewer than the Indiana Hoosiers. With Evil Spock in tow, I also got to see firsthand how far the IU fans still have to go to meet my expectations for them.

Once upon a time, there was a tyrant coach. He roamed the sidelines with his genius and emotions on his sleeve. Once, he threw a chair. The ESPN cameras wouldn’t leave him alone after that, and thus every growl, cussword and furniture abuse was caught (often when those same cameras should have been focused on the little ball bouncing around the court). I only came into the Hoosier family in 1994, when twice-a-year marital discourse wasn’t worth sticking with Illinois as my favorite team. It had already been a decade-old dream, though, to have Bob Knight replace Lou Henson at Illinois to give me the best of both worlds.

Coach Knight had the crowd tamed. Assembly Hall was silent when the home team shot free throws. They were knowledgable about what constituted a proper pick but never had to worry about seeing the home team play a zone. They were also well behaved. More than once, Coach grabbed the sideline mic and berated fans for offensive chants (I believe at one point saying that’s what they do in Lafayette). Meanwhile, he raged for us on the bench and channeled any frustration we might have.

Then he left.

The new guy didn’t do that kind of thing, and the restless fans discovered they had all this “stuff” getting bottled up in their system. That’s when things took a downward turn. The new new guy has a Knight kind of swagger without all the baggage of arrest warrants and video clips of Neil Reed. On Sunday — when the Hoosiers upset Michigan State by 22 — the fans appeared headed back on track.

Here’s a list of my top do’s and don’ts when attending a game:

• No Wave. In the early days of Michael Jordan’s reign in Chicago, the old Chicago Stadium would turn out the lights, play some Pink Floyd, and use some spotlights to introduce the players. Thanks to Charles Barkley importing it to Philadelphia, everyone does it now. It loses its charm. The same thing is true about the Wave. Give it back to the University of Washington (or the Oakland A’s) where the thing originated.

  At Assembly Hall, the wave showed up a couple times in the Davis Era, and it showed up again against Michigan State in a cheerleader-led effort during a timeout. The former represents the worst of the wave since those participating were paying more attention to keeping it going than watching the players on the court. The latter is tolerable, in that it gives those wanting to wave that outlet but does so in a way that doesn’t interfere with the game. Still not our tradition, so let’s not do it at all.

• No derogatory chants. Our collective intelligence drops 50 points when the student section starts chanting “Bullshit” after every questionable call. Even if that is an accurate assessment, I find myself rooting for a technical to stop the noise. It’s embarrassing. Equally so, avoid the kinds of insulting chants that bring an opposing player’s personal life into the mix, such as the infamous “P.L.O.” chant.

  Forget about “Overrated” as well. When Michigan State or some other ranked team comes into the Hall and gets beat, telling them they are overrated implies that the Hoosier win is tainted. Perhaps if IU is ranked higher than the opponent, it might be appropriate.

  A notable exception in my book is “Airball” … provided it follows some strict protocols. First, only invoke it when a player completely misses the backboard on a shot attempt that isn’t deflected. Second, the moment that player makes a shot, the chant is over. IU fans have been a little lax with these rules. At least “Airball” shows you are paying attention to what is happening on the court.

• Be silent during free throws. One of the creepiest things for an opposing team to experience is not the level of noise but the complete lack of it. On those rare times when the crowd manages to go from 80 decibels down to 0 as an IU player steps up to shoot a free throw, it sends a message that the fans are involved and unified. A secondary benefit is that there is less noise for that player to tune out when making the shot.

  There’s always some tipsy smart ass — usually a student who fanangled nice sideline seats in a crowd of alumni — who wants to use that silence to make himself heard. But there also seem to be fewer and fewer students who even know this is a fan protocol. It’s like talking in movie theatres; Kids raised watching movies on VCRs don’t have the sense that they can’t use their Mom-can-I-have-a-sandwich voices in the theatre.

• Stay until the end. How much time are you really going to save by leaving with 3 minutes left? Especially when 1/3 of the stadium is joining you. Exciting games don’t have this problem as much, for obvious reasons, but in victory or defeat stay until the team is done playing.