But hey, at least it’s like a month late this year. In years past, it’s started as early as October. The feeling that I couldn’t possibly do enough to make it meaningful for me, much less my family members. The conviction that my worthiness is measured by the quality of the candy I make and the beauty of the ribbons on the gifts I give.
(Because if I have time to make really pretty bows, it means I thought ahead and was organized and really, truly, cared about the gift)
There’s also the idea that I like Jesus- the story is groovy- but I’m not completely sold on the whole virgin birth, and I long for something BIG to believe- that would fit the bill, I just can’t. Believe me, I’ve tried over and over.
So if there’s no Jesus, (and I’m just not well versed in the pagan aspects of the celebration) then it’s all about the secular parts, the gifts, the candy and the wrapping. And if there’s no Christmas, when is someone going to buy me a Roomba and one of those remote locator beeper things?
It’d be nice if we gave selfless gifts at random points throughout the year, but we don’t, so this is our time to prove our love for one another by stressing out over gifts, candy and bows.
I wonder if it’s a sensory issue for me- I start making the cinamon candy and the fumes make me loopy? They put me in a state of mind where the Wiggle’s singing Christmas Carols are soothing?
Signing off to make more candy-
