Children do well if they can
With finding our way through the homeschooling maze, financial strain and family illness, my parenting has taken a hit. I find myself vacillating between ignoring my kids as they injure each other to screaming random and meaningless phrases like “You have GOT to get it UNDER CONTROL!” In between are sprinkled moments of connection and play, but I’ve been hearing unfamiliar and unfriendly sounds in our house a lot lately.
In an effort to bring myself back to the parent I want to be, I’m introducing a new category on the blog: Positive Parenting Reminders. I hope to add snippets from my favorite parenting authors here for inspiration. It’s like my refrigerator door, only cleaner.
Two nights ago, Kevin and I devoted our “together time” to watching the dvd on Collaborative Problem Solving
This reminder is powerful in what it does not say- “Children do well if they are properly motivated,” “Children do well if you’ve parented them correctly,” or, “Children do well if you’ve found their currency.”
A child who is exploding, screaming and disrupting the day is unhappy at best. Emotional meltdowns are more about immature life skills than it is about manipulating the adults in the room. Seeing a child who is lashing out as a child who is asking for love rather than a tyrant completely changes the dynamic of the interaction. Trust can be built, and skills can be developed once that door is open and the connection is made.
