Carter reads everything. Wherever he is, if there’s something with print on it in front of him, it gets read– including toothpaste tubes.
Archie believes just about everything Carter says. The other night Kevin was attempting to get the boys back to bed. Sounds of struggle emerged from the bathroom.
Carter: STOP, Archie! You have to stop! Right now!
Carter: AAAAAAA DADDY! You have to STOP ARCHIE!!!! YOU HAVE TO STOP HIM RIGHT NOW!!! HE’S GOING TO DIE!!!!
Me: What’s he doing?
Carter: (apoplectic) HE’S BRUSHING HIS TEETH!!! WITH TOOTHPASTE! I read the bottle. It clearly says “Keep out of the reach of children under six years of age.” Archie is not six years of age, he’s four years of age, and four is less than six. He’s poisoning himself!!
(note to any safety-minded followers– Archie is an excellent toothpaste spitter. We don’t give our kids access to toxic chemicals unless we know they can spit it out.)
Archie solemnly handed the toothbrush to Kevin and indicated he should finish the job.
Archie: (calmly, through toothpaste foam) Daddy. Carter’s right. I’m going to die.
Watermelon Wave– the silent killer.
2 replies on “Toxic Toothpaste”
Okay. After reading through a handful of entries, you guys are clearly the smartest family on the planet. Seriously. I knew that about Kevin, but holy schnikeys.
“Archie’s going to die”
“Feral Santa”
“Something really, really smart about the moon & the sun burning out..”
Wow. I can’t even *read* Kevin’s entries because I get 3 sentences in & it turns into Charlie Brown’s teacher on me.
Now that my brain has stopped rebelling against the uber-smarts here – let me say HI! I found you after googling Kevin and I’m enjoying reading about your family. Oh – I’m Christy. I went to high school with Kevin & we did lots of shows together. I still brag that I got to go to prom with our valedictorian. :hee:
Glad I found you again. And stop being so smart. Okay?
Hi, Christy!
My recent posts have mostly been end-of-semester assignments (I hate for them to go to waste, so I put them where I can get to them easily in the future … here), but the conversations with the kids are an ongoing experience. They should do a podcast.
Have a happy holiday season.