Friday’s Child is full of lawsuits

I have been trying to avoid the new information from Google Reader until I catch up on processing the old information. However, I still sneak a quick peek now and then. This gem caught my eye: An Italian court ruled that a couple could not name their son “Friday” and insisted that he instead be called Gregory.

Clearly, there are no Libertarians in power in Italy.

This all came about because five months after the child was born a city hall clerk noticed the odd name and thought it might fall under child protection laws that bar parents from applying “ridiculous or shameful” first names to children:

The tribunal said it was protecting the child from being the butt of jokes and added that it believed the name would hinder him from developing “serene interpersonal relationships.”
Source: Reuters (Dec 18, 2007)

The appeals court ruled against Friday because it recalled Robinson Crusoe’s native servant in Daniel Defoe’s novel. Superstitious Italians consider Friday an unlucky day, whereas in the U.S. we Thank God for it.

The pain of a forced re-naming is made worse with the knowledge that some more famous Italians are unofficially exempt. Either that, or the tribunal doesn’t see anything ridiculous about naming a kid “Ocean,” for example. Italy isn’t alone, of course; New Zealand has also intervened on behalf of a child. Perhaps America would be a less shameful place if we passed a similar bill here in the States that inverted the celebrity exemption.

With the Celebrity Inanity Prevention Act in place in 2005, Nicolas Cage—who ironically played a nervous father in a 1992 Saturday Night Live sketch in which he was hyper-vigilant about the potential ridicule his child would face with the wrong name—would not have been able to name his son Kal-El. That boy may survive the Name Game, but with the bar set higher than tall buildings Kal now has to become the star high school quarterback just to keep the bullies away.

The reigning champs at the strange offspring naming are Paula Yates (Fifi Trixiebelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Pixie, and Tiger Lily) and Frank Zappa (Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet Rodan, and Diva). An up-and-coming challenger may be Gwyneth Paltrow (Apple and Moses), but the bar is being raised by contemporary standards. In the past year alone, celebs have given birth to Ptolemy John, Jagger Song, Princess Tiaamii, Bryce Maximus, Azure, Tin, and Heaven Rain.

For the rest of us, of course, we would have a little more leeway.