Just trying to fit in.

In a pretend world of superhero babies who like to be tickled by swords, fights between Marvel Universe and DC Universe and the whole galaxy of Star Wars, sometimes I have a hard time fitting into my kids’ games.

Today the boys invited me to join them- I had heard many mentions of “evil underworld Atlantis” and “You shall feel my bath (wrath)” so I told myself I’d have plenty of time to organize the house during the years that they would rather pull out their fingernails than invite me to play. I was handed a skeleton action figure, complete with his own ax, inconveniently molded to his hand.

Carter: You shall be our great leader.

Archie: Let’s make a flood.

Carter: Yes, if our great leader deems it so, we shall flood the underworld.

Me: (Turning on the hose) I will create the worst thing ever: Waterworld.

Archie: I’m going to make a castle to flood. I summoned him and his ax but I lost my power.

Carter: Yes, he summoned me- he was the first to summon me and impress me with his courage, and his plan to flood the underworld.

Carter: This is the underworld. It is the under under underworld. If the underworld is underground in LA, (holds his hand chest high) and the bottom of the earth is here, (holds hand at his knees) this underunderunderworld is down here. (holds hands by his ankles.)

Me: So are we below the Underworld of Hades?

Carter: (summoning patience and speaking slowly) We are below everything.

Carter: At last, Atlantis will be full in its glory and dimension.

Me: (trying to fit in) I decree that we shall create a Waterworld where those incompatible with water shall perish.

Carter: (no more feigning of patience) Mommmmmmm, we don’t even know what that means. Say something else.

Just so you know, as I type this, they are having this conversation in the bathroom with a naked baby doll and a Bilibo, most likely comprising the space pod that brought him to earth.

Carter: we are scientists creating ways for babies to live for millions of years so they can learn like a future person after humanity is gone.

Archie: Is it ready?

Carter: no, not yet.

Here’s the above-mentioned mummified baby, whom they call Maby, or mumaby, depending on who you ask.