Ducks.
Yes, ducks. I don’t mean “duck,” like, “duck down,” I mean ducks like the waterfowl. This story started with ducks.
It all happened a couple of months ago at the park pond. My name is Drake. Ironic, yes? (for the uninformed, Drake is a male duck).
Anyway, it was around the time of the summer solstice and we were at the park. My mom fell asleep reading the newspaper and I was at the pond, feeding the ducks. But then, I heard from behind me, “Wanna find out how buoyant you are, punk?”
The voice’s name was Ruth. See, Ruth is a bully from Room 4-k in the fourth grade class where I go to school. He sits five seats behind me and three rows away and he’s constantly passing paper planes (he has really good aim). Ruth Kazembe- the kids around the school call him Ruth KaZombie, but he’s also known as the lunch table monster because (yes he does keep track) he’s started 94 food fights.
Anyway, you know enough about Ruth for now. I’ll explain what he looks like later, but that’s not important because this is his only appearance.
Ruth came up behind the bench and without another word pushed my head and sent me flying off into the pond. All the ducks scattered, I assume, but my eyes were closed because I was under water, and they must have swam back to that spot to see what happened. Down at the bottom of the pond I was floundering in the water trying desperately to get back up to the surface with no success when I blacked out. The last thing I remember was a feeling like two big hands without fingers were yanking me down and up at the same time.
When I came to, a couple of hours later, I was in a dimly lit cave with two hulking shadows standing above me. Then all of a sudden, like you see in cheesy alien movies, the lights came on really really bright, as if they were about to examine me. The two hulking beasts were. . .
ducks?
Octopi?
Ducktopi?
I know this sounds unimaginative, but the best description I can come up with is ducks from the waist up, or where a waist would be on a duck, and bright purple octopi from the waist down. Anyway, one of the ductopi made this gurgling sound, like it had just swallowed soggy cardboard and was about to spit it back out, and the other replied in a slightly higher pitched, softer but similar gurgling sound.
Then they put a burlap sack over my head and the next couple of scenes are only from what I heard. From what I can tell, the ducktopi things pulled me up and then dropped me on a hard and flat metal surface. I felt it moving, so I guess I assumed that I was in the back of a truck. I bounced around a bunch and hit my head on a couple of walls and a ceiling, which gave me the impression that it was a small enclosed place. Through the seams of the burlap sack it got brighter and then the metal surface tilted and I slid off onto a hard stone floor and I heard more cardboard swallowing gurgling sounds and then it got dark again.
After about an hour of yelling, I passed out. See? Told you so. This chapter is about ducks.