My Favorite Favorites

I began using Twitter back in early March 2007, just before the first big membership explosion at that year’s South By Southwest conference. As I approach the end of four years on the service, I find I have curated a “favorites” list of 1,159 tweets.

Many of these status updates had to do with interesting moments in Twitter, related to research in the service, but I also find my personal Twitter museum has collected a number of profound, hilarious, and striking status updates from others around the world. Here are fifty of my favorite Favorites …

this superbowl needs more vuvuzelas.—@djbender

Apparently there’s a sequel to Super Bowl 44 today – do I have to know anything about the other Super Bowls to prepare for today?—@trobinson79

After a brief flirtation, I’ve turned away from Quora. It’s too structured to be social and too closed for open talk. Also, it’s boring.—@shelisrael

I mean really, Mubarak should have done that speech while sitting in a swiveling chair and caressing a white cat. #Jan25 #Egypt—@KarlreMarks

The Spider-Man musical doesn’t need to close – it needs to be the next season of Survivor.—@moonandserpent

Assembly Hall just went from being the loudest place in America (after Hulls 3) to one of the most quiet (as Watford shoots free throws)—@IUSportcom

Now that the astrological birth signs have been recalculated, thousands of awful lower-back tattoos just become even more regrettable.—@justinkeller

My 5th grader has a paper due. It needs to be double spaced. She very carefully typed 2 spaces between each word.—@MacksMind

Glad they’re making Great Gatsby in 3-D. My favorite part of the book was when Gatsby threw knives at the reader’s face.—@BorowitzReport

I guess “A Christmas Carol” will forever be known as the episode where the shark jumped Doctor Who.—@lmcalpin

Google Wave Lesson: If a product is named as a Firefly reference, expect it to go the way of any Joss Whedon show.—@jeffcatania

If my quick glance at my twitter stream is correct, Brett Favre & Wikileaks are building a mosque in NYC.—@bmk

someone should submit The Economy to kickstarter.com—@jingman

Do all these muscles make me look fat?—@OldSpice

I’m glad I never have worry about forgetting whether or not Jesus saves. Thanks, bumper stickers and billboards.—@cmbeck_

The Emergency Alert System on the cable is preventing me from watching the local stations which will show me where the storm actually is.—@bubbas_brain

Discussing with my lawyer a new idea: adding “Agree to Disagree” option to my EULA dialog box, and let the user use the soft anyways.—@migueldeicaza

The cure for boredom is curiosity. The cure for curiosity is worksheets.—@alfiekohn

DON’T MAKE ME CRITIQUE YOUR COMPLICITY IN MALE PRIVILEGE. YOU WOULDN’T LIKE ME WHEN I’M CRITIQUING YOUR COMPLICITY IN MALE PRIVILEGE.—@feministhulk

If plastic bags live for thousands of years in a landfill, they’re like little time capsules. Why don’t we encode cool info on them?—@jingman

I saw a guy playing Solitaire on the iPhone. That is wrong in so many ways.—@SoundSystemSDC

Hotel internet is to internet as rice cakes are to oreos.—@clifflampe

Calling Butler “America’s Team” at this point is like commenting on a blog post with “First?!!!”—@tacojohn

My biggest fear of traveling back in time is that I’ll waste it explaining what it is that I do for a living.—@cmbeck_

incessant drumming. Me: Stop or I’ll have you committed. @cmakice: what’s that mean? Me: locked up in a room. @cmakice: Oh. With drums?—@amakice

One of the most painful things about being an academic is that no mater what you research, there’s always someone telling you how dumb it is—@whazlewo

wouldn’t it be great if we all pitched in to help people even when there wasn’t a disaster?—@aschweig

#Twible Ex 20: G’s Top 10. No gods, idols, blasphemy. Keep Sabbath holy & love Mom. Don’t kill, cheat, steal, lie, or look @ Xmas catalogs.—@janariess

Jim Zorn suspended practice, called investigators. Forensic experts determined white substance unknown to players was goal line.—@chucktodd

the Nobel Prize for Obama is really a Most Improved Player award for the USA.—@muchosalsa

Johnathan Frakes is directing. Yesterday, he called me Number One. My heart made a noise that sounded like awesome.—@NathanFillion

Why is the “default” image on most sites a male silhouette? I find it offensive when women are represented as a shadow of a man.—@zephoria

how many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? eh, it’s this really obscure number. you’ve probably never heard of it.—@treyp

When I take my pants off in public I’m being lewd. When I willingly do it in airport security i’m a patriot.—@cmbeck_

I always wondered how I could make “obituary” rhyme with “millionaire” and now I know. Thanks country radio!—@ryanvarick

My 6 year old son got a new watch. It’s 3:10 everybody.—@theaudioprof

@trotzke and I are now Bonsai buddies. Something he doesn’t know: I’m going to grow the hugest bonsai ever!!!—@BigDaveSmith

if nice guys finish last, then who would win a nice guy contest?—@StephenAtHome

wisdom of a 4 yr old: “the most important thing when deciding where to eat is if it has a gumball machine”—@mtwolf

Looking up the synonyms for unique.—@trotzke

@oprah ur caps r on, btw—@THE_REAL_SHAQ

Hey Twitter, you’ve been Punk’d. @aplusk is really a 14 year old kid who lives in Encino.—@SoundSystemSDC

@amakice I suggest the online moniker of Ma~—@benfulton

Hoosier Music Mt. Rushmore: Axl, Michael Jackson, Mellencamp, Wes Montgomery. Suck it, Hoagie Carmichael.—@SnailTrax

OH: Me: what are you doing? Archie: taking the onions out so I dont taste them. Me: they’re onion rings.—@amakice

OH: Nanna: “Is that his name? French Fry?” Archie: “Yes.” Nanna: “For Certain?” Archie: “No. French Fry.”—@amakice

Time to reset the Illinois governor sign once again to “This office has been criminal-free for 0 days”.—@dickc

I’m standing in the foot prints of giants.—@whazlewo

Charlton Heston is dead? Who is goign to take the gun out of his cold dead hands?—@zebtron

If you’re reading this now, I can only assume it’s because your family is boring the crap out of you.—@StephenAtHome