It’s possible it’s too close to post. I haven’t sorted through it all, and I uncomfortable with these posts being up at all. I pushed a button labeled “private” on them, thinking that would make them only available to me, but they still show up.
Together, Kevin and I trudged through the snow storm to the office, despite my hopes for a snow day. He even had to turn me back around when I asked if we could leave upon entering the building.
One of the largest hurdles for me to face is this desire to have everyone around me be happy. Becky Bailey calls this a “power under” strategy. So really, part of me would have liked to go in, bring her a plate of cookies, say, “If I give you these cookies, will you like me?” and leave it at that. Better yet, leave the plate of cookies with a note that says, “If you like these cookies and me too, please check the yes box and put it in my son’s backpack tomorrow.”
I didn’t get to run away. I did get all red and splotchy, the way I do when angry or nervous. I made several attempts to use the mental script I had prepared about my “concerns,” yada yada yada. It turns out, what I think worked was just describing the process that led me to believe my integrity had been questioned.
I described my “ideal” transfer of child from parent to teacher, and how I believe that communicates respect and trust both to teacher and child. Vice Principal (or as I imagine Carter would call her, “back up”) nodded as though she understood, but I’m guessing it’s an issue that will return next year.
The differences between getting involved by joining the PTO or attending massive school events was, I think, clearly outlined, although it’s possible we didn’t agree on that either. It is quite clear that we will need to take independent action to create a community of families. We learned that a more conservative church here locally has permission to recruit for boy scouts first grade and up, so I have vowed to create a Spiral Scouts troup before next year.
We communicated that we like Carter’s teacher, despite agreeing to disagree on flip card systems. The principal assured us she had already made a mental note to place us with a teacher who relies only on “intrinsic motivators” for her behavior plans next year.
The meeting ended with a handshake and a promise of a fresh start from both of us. My largest concern, going out, was that Kevin did not get heard because I was afraid she might check the no box on the note I left with the cookies.
