Maxwell’s Silver Hammer

An object learning lesson in “Think, before you do it,” the theme of Carter’s kindergarten class:

Post- trick-or-treating hanging out, I discovered our friends had a copy of Abbey Road, and since i-tunes has yet to offer any Beatles tunes, I asked to borrow it for our collection.

I finally had time to listen to it this morning and was flooded by memories of my contraband record-player, smuggled to me by sympathetic band members after hearing that my cruel parents had “grounded me” from my cassette player. The only album they hadn’t managed to take was someone’s copy of Abbey Road, and I listened to it over and over. In fact, my dad almost busted me when I came downstairs singing, “She came in through the bathroom window,” but I digress.

Ecstatic to share my childhood memories with the boys, we danced around the house to “Mean Mr. Mustard,” and “Octopus’s garden.” Then:

Mommy: Oh! There’s another funny one- click on “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer”!

Carter clicks. We listen.
Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
Science in the home
Late nights all alone with a test tube,
Oh, oh oh oh.

But as she’s getting ready to go,
a knock comes on the door”

Mommy realizes her mistake, way too late

Bang! Bang! Maxwell’s silver hammer
came down upon her head.
Clang Clang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
Made sure that she was dead.

Carter, looking at me quizzically: Why is this funny? Isn’t it about a guy going around hitting people on the head?

Mommy: I guess it’s not that funny. You know, they aren’t serious-(floundering) it’s all pretend.

Carter: Oh. Well, I guess that’s sort of funny.

At least Mommy managed to talk over the part when Max hits Teacher on the head, and then smoothly moved on to some Eminem.