Holiday Thanks But No Thanks

Some aspects of the Ph.D. program at the School of Informatics are starting to feel like Cousin Ned, the awkward relative with stinky feet and a variable definition of personal space. At family gatherings, everyone else forgets to tell poor Ned when the meal has started, leaving him a choice between fingered cheese cubes and Aunt Shirley’s famous bean custard surprise.

For the third time in the past month, I have looked at my in-box to find something to the effect of:

From: Staffer, Cindy X
Subject: Thank you, All!!!
Date: After the fact, Too late for us
To: SI-ALL@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU

Thanks for the swell time at the party. I’m honored everyone on earth attended. The gift was so ooo special, and the clown magician striptease was a hoot! 🙂 I hope someone had a camera handy when that apparition of Virgin Mary cried blood. (It would make a great holiday card.)

Thanks again,
Cindy

There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, except for the disturbing image of a stripping clown. Oh, and the fact that I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT. In fact, to the best of my understanding, none of the Ph.D.s have known about these special events, which leads me to believe the invitations are either going out through secret handshakes or a new mailing list: SI-ALL-BUT-PHD@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU.

Color me bitter. Sincerely,
Chopped Liver