Bad Mommy goes for Convenience over clothing

I’ve been fighting some random bug for a couple of days now, and it suddenly occurred to me that I needed Gatorade. If I could have Gatorade, all would be better. My electrolytes would be balanced, and I’d feel great. I googled homemade replacement drinks, but didn’t have the ingredients to make any, having missed grocery shopping all week, due to feeling like crap. We had to run to the corner store.

Sadly, one son was in mud-covered sweat pants, with no shoes. The other was completely naked, having found his mud-covered pants uncomfortable. I convinced them that I would just run in, bring them their favorite color of Gatorade, and we’d be back in a jiffy. The clouds were starting to gather, but it’s been rainy and overcast all day, so I didn’t give it much thought. Archie, the naked boy, was harder to convince.

“I need clothes! I want to look at the colors myself!” (being a nudist, he’s familiar with the no shirts, no shoes rules) I denied him his Genesis-given right to cover up, in an effort to get there and back before the rain started again. Getting to list a rainbow of colors that would meet their Gatorade wish lists sealed the deal and got me willing participants in our excursion.

Naked boy, half naked boy and Bad Mommy piled in the car and pulled into the corner store. I ran in, purchased a rainbow of Gatorade colors, and raced out to the car. At that exact moment, a hail storm erupted. Screaming ensued.

We drove the half-block home and I had to carry a very perturbed Archie through pelting hail, which hurt me, and I was fully clothed. I’m certain it was less than comfortable for the naked, baby-soft fellow I was carrying.

Once inside, he looked at me, tearfully and said,

“I don’t like hail. I told you I should wear clothes, Mommy.”