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Mama Journal

melancholy mama

Carter is pretending to be a baby. He sounds a lot like Daniel Kitten on Mr. Rogers, only instead of meow meow, he inserts Goo Goo.

“Goo Goo hold me.”
“Goo Goo cookie.”
“Goo Goo Gatorade.”

I like this game. It give me a chance to baby my oldest son. He’s almost four now.

Gone are the days when I could fix everything by picking him up and speaking in a soothing voice. When I try that now, it’s at some risk to my health, or at least my hearing. I’ve been demoted from superhero to a mere obstacle blocking his way to Teddy Grahams and trampolines.

When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he calls for Daddy. Today, he hurt his head climbing in the car and quietly murmured, “I want my daddy.”

I no longer awake to Carter snuggling in closer or playing with my face. I still have Archie in bed, and no doubt will for some time, but I miss my baby Carter.