I returned to running 7 months ago on my 40th birthday. Matilda had turned 6 weeks, so it seemed an official run was in order. I limped through 1.65 miles and came home wondering if I should spend time choosing a nursing home.
I kept going though, a little at a time, and recently I completed a 15 mile training run.
I started off my 40th birthday wanting to be a runner, longing for the rush or creativity and confidence that seems takes over somewhere during the third or fourth mile of a longer run, but the reality was I was a walker who ran a little bit. Over the course of a summer I became the runner I wanted to be. This change occurred not through martyred, suffering workouts but expressions of vitality and joy. There were certainly days I did not want to run, but after ten minutes I was either pleased I had chosen to plug away. Only one time did I pass the ten minute mark and decide to go home and shower instead of finish the run.
Now it’s New Year’s, and I’m looking around my home. Prior to the holiday, I decided I wanted to focus on inviting joy into my life- choosing the joyous path rather than the martyred, cranky mama path that frequently beckons me. I am surrounded by obstacles to the joy though- a small cluttered home filled with chaos. Today is officially my first “run” back to having an uncluttered life. It is just a beginning. 15 miles seems impossible, but I plan on jumping in for as much as I can handle until I can handle more.