I’ve been in a funk lately- finances, new schedules, fatigue- it’s all taking a toll.
I added a new routine to my bedtime to refresh myself somewhat. I read one page from The Tao of Motherhood and contemplate before dozing off.
Recently, one idea that came to me during my contemplation was to stop talking, start doing. I resolved to walk up to the children, get down on the floor with them, touch them and connect before saying anything. My hope was to curtail the hollering from the kitchen or computer and to become more solution focused together.
It’s helping- but I can’t quite get my batting average up to where I want it. By the end of the day (or sometimes, by the end of the morning) I’m already frazzled, making commands and demands or else pleading, none of which are connected behaviors, none of which teach my kids to do anything other than stay out of my way.
Last night, Carter yelled from the bathroom, “Come quick it’s an emergency!” which usually means he stuffed something in the toilet and it’s overflowing. Indeed, he had used about half a roll of toilet paper. My mouth decided to take over without consulting my brain or heart.
“That’s it. We’re putting the toilet paper up high from now on.”
WTF? Toilet paper up high? If I heard someone else say that, I’d snicker. How is that helpful? How does it teach anything?
I want to be the mom that leans down, says, “Looks like we have a problem to solve,” and works it out with her child. I want to be the mom to whom children turn for help, fun, connection, learning, love- not the mom who interacts more as a reaction to misbehavior than from a strong connection.
Anyway, how would anyone wipe if the toilet paper were up high?
AT least I have an opportunity to each my kids to keep trying even when you get it wrong the first, or second, or third. . .time.
Update: November 22-
I’ve been much calmer on the TP front, we’ve problem solved and our first solution was that Carter would use 4 squares for pee, 5 for poop. Still plunging daily. His next solution? “Why don’t you put the toilet paper up high, Mommy.”