I’ve decided Carter is the borg of potty learning. For those of you who aren’t Star Trek nerds, the Borg is an enemy that adapts to each attack, rendering that attack meaningless within a few seconds. They fall down, they get back up, and they repeat, “resistance is futile.” Whatever weapon the Federation attempts to use only works for the first attack, then the next Borg has already adapted and is resistant.
Potty Learning- attack number one (age 2): offer an interesting potty for the child to play with, sit on, in order for the child to become comfortable with it. Carter sat on it, I think even tinkled in it. He adapted, and started wearing it on his head instead.
Potty Learning- attack number two (age 3): offer entertaining videos and books about potty business. Carter listened to the book, watched the video- several times in one day. Went to potty, sat on it, complained “there’s no pee coming out,” and adapted, boycotting all potty books, except for the one with pop-ups, because it’s fun to play with the tabs.
Potty Learning- attack number three (age 3.5-4) offer cool underwear. Carter wore it, wet it, adapted and insisted on wearing it over his diaper.
Potty Learning- attack number four (age 3.5-4 something): lay off the pressure completely, be totally nonchalant, offer opportunities to use the potty with no pressure. Fell for it once or twice, adapted.
Potty Learning- attack number five (age 4): pretend to forget to buy diapers. Carter calmly explains the natural consequences of not using a diaper, then gives me a chance to experience them.
Potty Learning- attack number five (age 4 something): Not finer parenting moments- threaten to stop changing diapers, discuss in a rather annoyed tone the hygiene problems associated with poop languishing on skin. Carter didn’t even need to adapt to this one, as his capabilities were way beyond this level of parenting.
Potty Learning- attack number 6 (age 4.5): In desparation, consult pediatrician, who sends an article on reward charts. Decide that despite my distaste for awarding prizes for bodily functions, perhaps it is time to try it. Create large chart, designed for fast gratification to keep him on track. Consult Carter in naming the prizes. Make a beautiful chart for the bathroom wall.
This one was pretty durn advanced. It took him a whole four potty times to adapt to this one. The chart has been untouched now for 48 hours. I’ve offered (oh so casually) underwear, he’s asked for diapers.
In Star Trek, they defeated the Borg by going back in time. Could I go back and undo any pressure, any quiet sighs or premature placement of potty seats, prevent any grandparent’s cajoling- perhaps just use elimination communication from the get go?
Resistance is futile.