Possibly not my best day parenting ever, but if I believed in grades, and in lame reassurances for failed attempts, I’d give myself an A for effort.
Carter and Archie: WA WAAA WAA He blah blah blah and He did this and that
Me: (reciting to self: I am calm, I am competent, I can help my kids solve this problem) Let’s get all our concerns on the table. Carter? What are you concerns?
Carter: He wants to use all the pillows for the pillow wall, and we need them for the pillow barrier. I told him, “be reasonable,” but he won’t.
Me: Okay. So Carter’s concern is that there won’t be enough firm pillows for the barrier. Archie? What are your concerns? (rinse and repeat several times, as Archie won’t stop crying, and Carter won’t stop talking)
Archie: I want to make a pillow wall. I need pillows.
Me: Archie is saying he wants to make the pillow wall now- what solutions can we generate here? Carter is concerned about the barrier and Archie wants to make the wall. (Thinking to self, any minute now boys will be working together to create solutions, bonding their friendship for life).
silence.
Archie: We could make the wall first.
Me: Archie has an idea. He suggests we should build the wall first. Carter? What do you think? Do you have any solutions?
silence
Me: Carter?
Carter: What? I’ve been plugging my ears if it’s not my turn to talk.
Eventually, I tire of the pillow debate and send them outside. After my own therapeutic flower-picking activity, I wander into the backyard.
Carter: Mom!! Watch this! (executes crazy-ass swing off of playset, slightly onto inflatable jumper, then onto ground)
Me: Wow. That doesn’t scare me at all.
Carter: Why should it scare you? I’ve only hit my head on the playset once doing this.
Yep, I’ve got some concerns today.