Soccer, Truth and intimacy.

A few catch-up discussions to share.

Yesterday, we arrived at playgroup after two of his buddies had already initiated a rather competitive soccer game. Carter’s reaction was to pull out his book and sit inside reading. I settled in next to him to see if he needed assistance in joining his friends, or if he was fine just waiting it out.

Me: I notice Robby and Peter were already playing, and you came inside to read.

Carter: Yeah, well I don’t want to play. I need to play a game for a while before I feel comfortable joining.

Me: And you need to play soccer for a while before you play with them?

Carter: Yeah. Remember, when I was on a soccer team at the “Y”? At first I was too scared to even join in.

Me: (silent remembrance of Carter lying down in the middle of the field to rest during a play, and the chaos of 4-5 year-olds running in circles with soccer balls, periodically checking the sidelines for snack)

Carter: And then we played the best team in the whole league- I’m sure they were much older than us- they were huge. And I had confidence then, because I had played enough and WE WON!!!

Me: (complete silence, recalling no winning games)

Carter: I mean, WE LOST!! But not by a lot, it was sort of like winning, and it really boosted my confidence.

On the topic of Archie’s resistance to clothing we have another conversation:

Getting ready for bedtime without daddy has been challenging. Last night, I felt like we were on track, I had them dressed, the room prepped, and I came out to find Archie wearing a shirt, but not bottoms. Again.

Me: Dude. You’ve got to wear underwear when we go to bed.

Archie: Why?

Me: I’m not sure, but since I’m the one cuddling with you guys, that’s what I’d prefer. Undies as a bare minimum.

Archie: (with heartbreaking sincerity) But Mooooooomy, I don’t like to wear underwear because it makes me feel far far far far far far far away from you.

Carter: That’s crazy. I wear underwear and I’m close.

I’m wondering if there’s a billboard in there- you know, “the family that prays together, wears underwear together?” “The family that wears underwear is plenty close enough?”

And finally, on Truth, from Carter. After a long morning of school carnivals, we were having meltdowns. Carter was demanding that I listen to him, which I thought I was.

Carter: LISTEN TO ME!!

Me: I can’t help but hear you, same with everyone in a mile radius.

Carter: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING. Look at me. You have to look in my eyes in order to be listening.

Me: What about all those times you’ve told me you’re listening but you just don’t want to look at me?

Carter: (as though speaking to an idiot) I was lying those times.

Ahhhh. Sweet motherhood.